2014年9月25日 星期四

住在男生躯体的女生

高挑,眼睛深邃和鼻子笔挺凸显出她立体且漂亮的五官,这 是我对她的第一印象。

“我可以坐这里吗” 她问道。
那一瞬间,她的声音透露了她的性别 —— 原来“她”是男生

她就坐在我的前排,我们就这样没有交集的一起上课。我想,也许是因为从小社会灌输我的观念,我对她多少都感到一些好奇和害怕吧,所以也不敢多与她交流。走在回宿舍路上,我又遇见她了。她对我微笑打招呼,接着我们开始一起聊天吃午饭。她告诉了我她的日常生活故事,但,这些事却能深深植入心里。。。

她也像女生一样,喜欢保养,喜欢打扮,喜欢穿得美美的与朋友一起逛街,想要留一头长发。

“我认为我就是一个女人,和你没有什么不同。” 她笑着和我说。

她说,从小她就发现自己不喜欢穿裤子,喜欢穿裙子,喜欢玩洋娃娃。

“学校老师都向妈妈说:你怎么有一个这么漂亮的女儿?”

“老师,他是我的儿子。” 这句话,让她知道她不能自由违背自己的躯体,男生的躯体。

直到中学,她尝试让自己和女生谈恋爱,好消除自己拥有女生的灵魂。

“可是我真的不能忍受了,触摸女生让我觉得我好像是同性恋,为什么我要喜欢同性?”从此,她开开心心的选择做回自己,内心最真实的那个自己。

当她选择做回最真实的那个自己时,她又开始感到压力了。身边的朋友亲人都用异样的眼光去看待她,而让她感到最煎熬的还是她妈妈。

“我妈妈能接受我是个变性人,她时常摸摸我的脸夸我漂亮,可是在社会的压力之下,她下一句往往会对我说:“但是你可不可以不要这样?””

妈妈很爱她,可是妈妈却要在社会的舆论下,痛心谴责儿子,让她走回所谓的“正道”。她的妈妈要减少社会对她的伤害,却宁愿伤害了自己。

“在我进入大学之前,妈妈就说如果你爱我就把头发剪短, 所以我也把留了好久的头发剪短。”

她说,她现在也习惯了伪装,在大学里她就尽量把自己男性化,不穿裙子。
虽然已经伪装了,她还是被歧视,尤其是被男生,常把她误认为同性恋并远离他。

“千万不要认为同性恋和变性人是一样的,虽然同性恋也喜欢男人,可是我把自己当成女人,所以喜欢异性是没有错的啊。”

她说,很多人把变性人当做性工具因为社会听到变性人的新闻都是负面的,甚至有些男人会向他要求进行性行为,她会感到沮丧。

有一次,她与两个变性朋友在街上逛逛,突然就被两名警察截拦,并以荒唐的理由用手铐逮捕他们。

“我们跟警察争论了很久,他们说像我们这些变性人是不能这样穿着污染社会的,我感到到非常的气氛。其中一名修读法律系的朋友用法律条规跟他们争论,他们也知道自己是非法逮捕我们。”

“其实他们真正的目的是要我们跟他们进行性行为,不然就不放过我们。”

她说,她拒绝了可是警察依然不放人,结果其中一位朋友被强迫跟警察发生关系,他们才被放开。

听到这里,我的眼泪已经忍不住掉了下来。她们有多么的委屈,没有人愿意帮助她们就算了,可恶的是还要欺负她们。

“人家说,人只有一条生命,只能死一次,可是在我心中,我们已经死了好多次。”

她看到我掉下眼泪,却还笑笑的安慰我。

“你以后遇到什么困难,绝对不要难过,想想我就好了,我可是经历过比你更悲惨的事情呢!”

也许就是经历过这么多磨练,她比我更成熟更正面,可是我却心疼她的开朗。
上天难道就不能给她幸福吗?

“我真的只想找到真心爱我和我爱的人,你知道当我和他在一起的时候却不能结婚,不能替他生育,我有多难过吗?我真的好想成为女人。”

当她说了这番话,我想一个女人不能拥有属于自己的孩子,那真的会很难过。上帝给她拥有了女生的灵魂却附上男生的肉体,这是多么不公平的一件事!

“我天生就是这样了,我也不想这么“特别”,可是既然上帝给了这样的我,我就只能接受,从困境中找出属于自己的快乐生活。”

“其实很多人会用上帝不允许变性的理由去歧视我们,我想告诉他们这是错误的观念,因为上帝是包容的代表,歧视我们的是这个社会是人所制造出来的想法。”

听她说了这番话后,我真的觉得世界上任何人都是平等,没有必要去歧视谁,没有人想要一出生就跟别人与众不同。

今天,我上了一堂特别的课,我很欣赏她在这个封建的社会中还保持了积极乐观的态度并散播正能量。我也很感激她为我的人生打开一扇门,让我看看这不能轻易触碰的世界。







2014年6月1日 星期日

Public Screening Night Review

27.05.2014 was the public screening night for media students. The aim of the public screening is to let other faculty’s students in University Malaya have the opportunity to watch the video production that produce by us. The event start on 830pm at amphitheatre of Faculty of Built Environment. Here is our program tentative:  
8 pm entrance

Some of the students had set up all the sound system and adjust the position of the projector during that time. Other students gathered and found a seat at the amphitheatre and ready to enjoy the show.

830pm screening

The screening started at 9pm after fully prepared.

These are the films that screening at that day.
1. Show Reel
2. Bomoh – short film
3. Bunga – short film
4. Alam Melayu ( Melaka) - documentary
5. The Wound – Public Service Announce (PSA)
6. Zahirah – short film

7. Lovely Pop – commercial advertising
8. Inspektor Petonah – short film
9. Mahkluk Ganjil – news coverage
10. Seram Kampus - documentary
11. Pembunuhan Ratu Kampus – news coverage
12. Hantu Menyambut Merdeka – short film
13. After the Strom – short film
14. Epilogue  

10pm exchange presents
We had gained a lot of fun during this section. This section made us interacted more with each other such as juniors, seniors and students who take this course as elective.

1015pm eat
After we finished our “tea time” is the time to say goodbye. We had taken a picture for all the students who come to the public screening night


2014年5月17日 星期六

Director Journal 12 - Screening Night Review

Screening night was an amazing night! The aim of the screening night is to that night. However, without an awesome director there won't be an nice video! The directors of these production video are Ariff, Hisyam, Shinno, Liew, Syazwan, Danny and more. It's not easy publish the production video that done by the students who are taking art of filming and television production at department of media studies. There are 14 videos had been projected on to conduct a team for shooting but its worth when we saw our work projected on the big screen.



Our theme for the screening night is “Vintage and Tie Bow” therefore we dressed up and styled ourselves with vintage outfit.

Everyone look gorgeous!!
The best outfit for male - Augustin

The best outfit for female - Mia

 The dinner started with the show reel of the screening night. The show reel is a sample of the videos edited together to show footage of the videos that produce by us. The show reel brings out the feeling of energetic and lively which make a good start for the dinner.



After the show reel, the 14 production videos started to project on the big screen. Before the video started to project, there was an introduction to the director and the favorite quote of the director. One of the quotes that I like the most is the Shinno’s quote – “ Pemulaan adalah bermula sekarang”.  I think the class of art of film is a good start for us to let us explore in film production.


Among the all of the production, the production that I impressed me the most is “ Inspektor Petonah”.  The good composition of the video creates a strong visual effect which attracted audience. The director uses a lot of symmetrical shot which lead to a striking scene. 
The director of "Inspektor Petonah" use a lot of symmetrical shot which is similar like the picture above. 

Besides that, the director uses a lot of comedy elements in the video and the make the audience laughing so much.


Of course, the short film “ ZAHIRAH” also became one of my favorite video. Although the duration of the short film is around 2 minutes but the unexpected ending makes the audience curious about what’s next scene going to happen. ZAHIRAH is a good short film and it leaving room for our imagination.

Lastly, I really like the epilogue! The epilogue is the piece of writing by Prof Azizah at the end of a work of literature, it bring closure to the work. The director using vintage color correction to edit the video. The costume and the scene bring our memory back to 80s and it really suit with the dinner’s theme. That is why I like the epilogue so much.


I really enjoyed the night and learned a lot through watching the film production of the other groups. It is a nice experience for me. 

Reference
Darren Rowse ( 2013). Digital Photography School. 5 Elements of Composition in Photography. Retrieved from http://digital-photography-school.com/5-elements-of-composition-in-photography/.

2014年4月26日 星期六

Kill Bill 2 Movie Review


"The bride is back for the final cut."



The opening scene same with the vol 1, which is the bride shooting by the gun. However, Kill Bill 2 had mentioned about the relationship between the bride and Bill.

The using movement of the camera lens can bring different view and feeling to the audience.

Here is the analysis of using of camera lens movement for the opening scene:

For the opening, the director use whole black scene and subtitle to create the suspense. The director also use some disturbing and anxiety background music to evoke the curiosity of audience.



For the following scene, the director using close-up, black and white scene and tilt composition to show the bloody face of the bride. The director using black and white for this scene because he would like to stress that the terror of the bride and show the life as pale person. 

Lens movement
Opening and the end of the movement of the camera lens and the ending of the camera lens are mutually contrast. 
Start of the camera lens movement.

The camara lens pull back and then rise. When the lens is pull outside from the church, there are four killer shown at the scene. The movement of the camera lens rise and pullback to whole scene because the director want to avoid the bloody slaughter process which can cause audience feeling uncomfortable.

End of the camera lens movement


.
Bill is located on the left of the scene and the bride is located on the right of the scene.
These two scenes also formed a contrast
First, the director using close-up for the bride and she looked at Bill.

The next scene is the perspective of the bride look at Bill by using close-up.


Reference
Peter Tonguette(2004). Kill Bill: Vol.2 .Retrieved from http://www.thefilmjournal.com/issue9/killbill2.html.

Les Choristes Movie Review

Les Choristes is a French drama film directed by Christophe Barratier. This movie belong to drama and romantic genre.


The story of the Les Choristes is about a failed musician Clement Mathieu comes to a strict boys' boarding school. The tough headmaster Racine use the motto "Action - Reaction" to rule over the students. Therefore the students behave nicely in front of the teachers but always create a lot of trouble after that. Mr. Mathieu tries a different approach by introducing music into their lives to change their attitude. He forming a boy's choir to discover their musical talent. However, Mr. Mathieu like one of the troublemaker young boy's Pierre beautiful single mother which add some romantic genre into the movie.

The film was shown at the multiple international film festival  and the film also list on the highest- grossing film of 2005 worldwide. It shown that the film gain support from the audience.


However, the plot of the story had been critic as being formulaic because audience can predict what's going on happen next. The plot of the story quite alike with other films about inspirational teachers. " Their influence will change a life of the students" and we can see when the opening of the film. The movie seem cannot break from the formula of drama genre.



Reference

Edward Douglas (2005). The Chorus (Les Choristes). Retrieved from http://www.comingsoon.net/news/reviewsnews.php?id=7904.



2014年4月25日 星期五

Director Journal Week 11

Our group had finished for the shooting before week 10. This week we have to conduct the final edit for the short film- Zahirah. As a editor, I had been instructed by the director to edit the subtitle to the short film. I used the new software on the Mac that I haven’t learned before to edit the subtitle of the short film. However, I think I can handled the new software because I had been learned Adobe After Effect before.

Here is the translated script for Zahirah:
Mother:           She has become an ustazah. This has finally fulfilled me and my husband’s ambition in making her an Islamic teacher. Our efforts in nurturing her did not go to waste, Piah.
I am grateful for having a righteous daughter like Zahirah. She has self-respect, listens to the elderly and obey to religion rules. You have also seen it, right? From a small kid to a grown adult, it was not hard to teach her. She is brilliant. She was a clever student in school and became the apple of the eye of her teacher. After that, she went to Egypt to continue her studies. She was the top student there, (getting good results every semester).
Alhamdulilah.
Please have a drink, Piah.
For now, she does not want me to stay alone here. She wants to take care of me. That’s why she was willing to stay here with me. When she has more money in the future, she will bring me along to move to a bigger house.
Zahirah:           Assalamualaikum.
Mother:           Waalaikumsalam. Zahirah, there you are! We just only talked about you. Come in and greet Aunty Piah.

Zahirah:           I go in first, mother and Aunty Piah.
Mother:           Zahirah just came back from teaching, Piah. Now she owns a car, life is easier. This whole month was fruitful for her. Well, teaching religion studies gives great blessing and reward. How is your son now, Piah? Has he started working?


I replayed the short film many times in order to listen clearly the conversation between the character and put subtitle in the right timing. After editing the video, I think that learning video editing software is very important to media students. It is a skill for us to find a job outside the university. If you lazy to learn something new, you will lose at the beginning.

2014年4月18日 星期五

Director Journal Week 10

Dr Azlan asked us to pitch idea for short film. Only three sentences are needed.
So here is my first draft of the synopsis

CHANGE
A woman who called Jess always complaining about her appearance and she does not satisfy with her look. One day, she decided to do a plastic surgery.

When she woke up from the surgery, she realized that her face totally change even she also can’t recognize herself. Therefore, she started to live in a life that she didn’t expected.

She regrets for what that she had done because the surgery had changed her life upside down. At last, her life changed again. She decided to encourage those who are low self-esteem and become a successful motivational speaker.



After Dr.Azlan listened about the script, he asked me to add “twist” for the ending of the short film. Therefore, here is the edited version for my synopsis.

CHANGE
A woman who called Jess always complaining about her appearance and she does not satisfy with her look. One day, she decided to do a plastic surgery.

When she woke up from the surgery, she realized that her face totally change even she also can’t recognize herself.

One day, she met with a girl, Kim who had same face with her. They both shocked. After a long talk, they decided to exchange their living life because they had boring about the living life they had now. However, Jess doesn’t know Kim had an intention for this action.